Confusion reigns in the hearts of Christians when it comes to understanding what the Bible means when it talks about love. The good news is that its a misunderstanding that is easily corrected.
Law and love are often put at odds with each other in the preaching we hear. "Doctrine is important but love is more important." God is not at odds with Himself. He is in total harmony in all He does and says.
Let us put some passages next to each other here:
1 Corinthians 13:2 I may have the gift of prophecy. I may understand all the secret things of God and have all knowledge, and I may have faith so great I can move mountains. But even with all these things, if I do not have love, then I am nothing.
1 Corinthians 13:13 So these three things continue forever: faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is love.
John 14:15 If ye love me, keep my commandments.
John 14:21 He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.
John 15:10 If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.
1 John 5:2 By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments.
1 John 5:3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.
2 John 1:6 And this is love, that we walk after his commandments. This is the commandment, That, as ye have heard from the beginning, ye should walk in it.
The definition of love is simply putting God's Laws into action. If you order something from a catalog, then the order is fulfilled when the item is actually delivered to you. When a command of God is actually kept then it is fulfilled. When you think it and say it that is not good enough. When you actually do it then it is fulfilled, then it is turned from a dead letter into living love.
If you know what it means then, yes, love is the answer. If you want to know how to love someone you must be a student of God's commandments and you must apply them to your relationship with that person.
Now what commands is God talking about? The only commands the New Testament writers had were the 10 Commandments and their case law applications in the Law and the Prophets of the Scriptures.
Christ has reconciled us to Himself and the commandments of God by lawfully giving himself to be executed in our place. Thus he treated us lawfully even while we treated Him lawlessly. Having thus fulfilled the meaning of the sacrificial system, we obey the law connected to the sacrificial system when we believe in Him. The rest of the commandments stand waiting to be put into action by us. There is no other way to abide in God's love than to trust in Jesus and obey His commandments as found in all of Scripture.